Pianissimo Impossible

(I still sometimes catch myself thinking "I should get a blog."

Then I remember: oh, wait...)

You know what I love about the piano?  It's easy to be mediocre at it.  It's very, very difficult to become great at it- but to be mediocre, that's quite manageable.  And at a mediocre level, there's quite a lot you can do.

Let me try to explain what I'm thinking.  I play two instruments: trombone and piano.  (I've also tried guitar, bass, cello, saxophone, and percussion, but I'm not particularly good at any of those, having played most of them for a few months at most.)

I've been playing trombone for five years.  I'm okay at it- I was probably one of the better trombonists in my high school- but that being said, I was okay at the trombone.  You know what trombones play?  Chords.  In jazz band, the only time trombones play melody is when it's a song specifically written for the trombones.  Saxophone melody, trumpet melody- that's a default.  Trombone melody- that's a keyword you put in the search engine.

The main limitations of the trombone are how fast you can play and how high you can play.  If you want to play something awesome on the trombone- you'd better extend your range upwards by about an octave.  That takes a lot of work, and a lot of time.  Then you gotta get good at sixteenth notes.

I love the piano because it contrasts so sharply with the trombone.  Those two problems (range and speed) that plague trombone players are much less a problem for pianists.  How many notes can I play on the trombone?  Maybe 31?  How many notes can I play on the piano?  88.  And anyone can play those notes.  After a few months of not practicing trombone, I can play about 26 of those 31 notes.  After a few years of not practicing piano- still 88.

The piano works wonderfully as a solo instrument.  You can play chords while playing melody.  If you're skilled enough, you can even sing while playing piano.  One pianist can do amazing things.

The trombone... is an instrument.  You can play melody.  Or you can play bass notes.  You can't play chords.  You can't sing while playing trombone.  One trombone should probably get a backup band.

And that's the problem.  As a trombone player- what am I supposed to do by myself?  As a pianist- I can do anything, if I practice hard enough.

Oh, and you can play piano right after eating ice cream.
~TheSequenceKitten

Postscript
The title is a bit of a misnomer, now that I think about it, but music students will get the pun.

Okay, I guess I could do this.  That's one thing a solo trombone player that no pianist has ever achieved.

Also this.  Maybe the world isn't such a harsh place for trombonists.

And for the record: every time you call us "tromboners," we die a little on the inside.  It's not funny.  I guarantee we've heard it six dozen times before you say it, and it hasn't been funny any of those times.  What are you, twelve?  Grow up or get out of the gene pool.